Man Down
by Raven524
Summary: WARNING SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 – story takes place after 4.16. Missing scene between Sam and Dean – what happened before and after Dean’s conversation with Cas?


I _still_ don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

WARNING SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 – story takes place after 4.16. Missing scene between Sam and Dean – what happened before and after Dean's conversation with Cas?

Raven524: Of course I couldn't resist writing what must have been a very emotion packed scene between our boys after Dean woke up in the hospital. I have to say, I am starting to really like protective Sam this year, so here is my take on what transpired before and after Cas's visit.

**Man Down**

Sam sat and watched his brother's chest gently rise and fall, the sound of the oxygen from the ventilator was the only noise to keep him company. He reached forward and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, just to assure himself he was still there. His mind wandered back to the moment he'd walked in to find Cas pinned to the wall, his brother laying on the floor in a pool of blood and Alastair reciting what sounded like an Angel exorcism.

The anger in him spiked as the power flowed from him. Not again, his brother might be dying, or already dead by another demon; No—he refused to believe Dean was gone. He couldn't lose him. He glanced briefly at Cas before he raised his hand and began to show Alastair what he'd learned. He blocked out the blood ritual that got him here, it was a necessary evil and instead concentrated on the demon in front of him. There was no longer any pain, just anger, hatred and power. Finally the Winchester's were on an even playing field.

As he watched the disdain turn to fear in the demon's eyes, he smiled and closed his fist tighter. He could feel the demon leave and heard the agonized scream as he killed the son of bitch that had done so much damage to his brother. No one hurt Dean. He wouldn't lose him again—he refused to fail his brother again. This time would be different.

A moment of fear spiked through Sam as he turned and saw Cas's face. The angel looked shocked. He expected Uriel to appear and turn him to dust for using his power. But he didn't care. It was the only way to save Dean and he didn't regret it. Time froze as Sam waited for the blow that never came. A soft groan on the floor broke the tense moment as he rushed to his fallen brother. He could still smell the copper scent of blood, Dean's blood. His brother had spilled enough for this damn war. A slight shift in the air and he knew Cas was gone, again.

"Well at least this time he got bloody for you Dean." Sam whispered as he gently turned Dean over to get a better look at his injuries. His face was a mess, blood still dripped from the cuts. The beginning of a bruise in the shape of a hand appeared on his throat, a stark reminder of how close it had been. "God Dean…"

Sam had seen enough to know his brother needed a hospital and needed it now. "Damn it Cas, the least you could have done was get him to help quicker." He still resented the way his brother had been yanked from him by the two Angels. No one had a right to do that to Dean. The young hunter was tired of both of them being treated like pawns in a chess game where the rules constantly changed.

"Well big brother, looks like it's another trip to the hospital. If you don't want to go, just wake up and tell me…" Sam held his breath, but the battered man made no reply. "Okay, then let's get you out of here." He carefully lifted his brother into his arms. Dean's head rested on his shoulder while his arm hung limp. Tears gathered but refused to fall in Sam's eyes as he quickly made his way to the car. "You hold on for me Dean—you hear me? Don't you dare leave me, not like this."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_Two days later…_

Two days had past and still Dean hadn't moved or made a sound. The doctors had said it was all up to Dean now, his body had been beaten to the point of death but he'd managed to hang on. They assured him his brother would wake soon, but all he could remember was another time, another hospital just like this where he almost lost him. Until he met Tess, he never realized how close it really had been. A slight chill went through him as he silently hoped she was somewhere else today.

Sam had called Bobby of course, to tell him what happened—well most of what happened. He wasn't sure yet that he felt comfortable discussing his new ability with their old friend. It would be hard enough to tell Dean. "I wish you could understand Dean. I have to do this; we can't keep going up against demons with just a bottle of holy water and an exorcism. You've seen what they can do." His words echoed in the silence of the room, the only answer the swish of the oxygen that was helping his brother breathe.

He wasn't really sure who he was trying to convince. Pam's words still stung deeply. She'd sensed the demon blood in him, he was sure of that. He knew it was wrong, but how many times had they bent the rules, had his father bent the rules? Hell even Dean had done it. He made a deal to bring him back from the dead. They did what they had to. He just couldn't understand his brother's reaction to his new found abilities. He could control it and use them only for good. He wasn't going to go darkside but instead he'd use what the demon had given him to defeat them.

A soft noise in the hall pulled Sam from his reflections. He saw the tan coat and rose to confront the Angel. As he turned to follow Cas into the hall, he paused and looked back at Dean. It was time the Angel did more than take from his brother—it was time to give something back. He wouldn't lose Dean again.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Cas watched as the youngest Winchester strode back into the hospital room. Should he heal Dean? It was all so confusing now. Anna had told him he needed to think for himself but he had not reference to do so. For thousands upon thousands of years he'd followed with blind obedience. Did his father want this of him? What if Winchester was right and something else was behind the deaths of his brothers and sisters?

He wished for a moment he could be a little more like his charge. Dean didn't blindly follow, he questioned and then he did what he felt was right. A soft smile crossed his face when he remembered how the hunter had stood his ground against Uriel. Cas slowly began to move away from the room, his mind in a whirl. These new feelings still confused him. It hurt in a way he never thought he'd understand.

Anna had become human to learn how to handle the emotions, to learn how to think like them. How could she expect him to understand? He turned and looked back towards the room that held their only hope of winning this war. Perhaps Anna was right, he needed to think and listen to what his heart was telling him. It was telling him he had to do whatever he could to save Dean Winchester. His father would not want this, at least not this way. They had caused the harm and he was done just going along. Sam was right, it was their fault and it was up to him to fix it.

Decision made, he walked with purpose into the room that held their future.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam watched as Cas entered the room. He could sense the conflict going on within the silent Angel. The young hunter had to admit, Angels really were nothing like what he'd been led to believe by Pastor Jim. But then, when had anything been as it seemed in their lives?

"Sam…" Castiel nodded briefly before he stood on the side of the bed.

"Help him…please" Sam whispered, hope flared in his chest as he watched.

"I cannot do much, but I can at least make sure he survives—he has to survive…" Sam watched as the angel closed his eyes for a brief moment. He could feel the energy in the room as he watched anxiously. But nothing appeared to be happening. A moment later the Angel opened his eyes and looked down sadly at the broken man on the bed. "He will live Sam."

Before Sam could say anything, the Angel was gone. "Well that was spectacular. God Dean, only you could get such a dick for a Guardian Angel." He didn't know what he'd expected, but to see Dean remain the same with just an assurance he'd live wasn't what he'd hoped for. He didn't want to see his big brother suffer one more minute—he'd already suffered enough because of him.

Sam rose and moved to the window. He stretched to work the kinks out of his back and wondered where the Angel had gone. He knew Alastair had been telling the truth which led him to wonder what had been killing the Angels. A soft noise behind him stopped his train of thought. "Dean?"

The young hunter moved to stand beside the bed. He placed his hand on his brother's head and watched as his eyes moved rapidly beneath closed lids. "Come on Dean, you have to fight for me. Just open your eyes."

He wasn't prepared for the fist that struck out with enough force to shove him back. Sam watched as green eyes filled with fear sprang open. "Dean—Dean, calm down big brother, you're in the hospital and you're safe." He quickly pressed the call button while he tried to calm his sibling. He could feel his brother struggle against the vent, his eyes now focused on Sam as the fight went out of him.

"That's right Dean, just let the vent help you. Your throat was swollen, but it's better now. They'll take it out shortly." Sam watched as his brother nodded briefly before his eyes slowly began to close. "Go ahead and get some more rest Dean. It's my turn to keep watch…,"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dean slowly cracked open his eyes and gazed at the face of his brother. Sam had fallen asleep, his mouth opened slightly as soft snores filled the room. He gazed towards the window and noticed it was later than the last time. He blinked as the pain that had been muted while he slept, made itself known. His hand reached up, relieved to no longer have the vent to help him breathe. He knew his body would heal, but what then?

He gazed back at Sam and somehow he knew his brother had saved him. He didn't remember anything past Cas coming into the room and pulling Alastair from him. But Cas hadn't been winning when he'd lost consciousness. A chill went through him as he began to remember what he'd done. Once again, he'd enjoyed the feeling of torturing the demon and yet he felt guilt. It had been wrong for the Angels to ask that of him and it had been wrong for him to accept.

"Dean?" Sam's voice pulled him back from his dark thoughts.

"Sam—what?" Dean croaked out through a too dry throat. His voice was a mere whisper, the pain in his throat a reminder of strong fingers that tried to send him back to where he belonged.

A cup of water appeared along with the strong arm of his brother as he helped him to drink. For a brief moment he resented the role reversal. It was his job to take care of Sam, not the other way around. But then he remembered what Alastair had told him and the feeling left. Sam was right, he was weak, always had been it seemed.

"Alastair is gone Dean, he won't bother you again…" Sam said softly, the uncertain look in his face confirmed what he already knew; his brother had used his powers to save him. A moment of concern filled him as he gazed around the room. Sam had used his abilities and was still here. Did that mean the angels were okay with it?

"Good…" was all he managed as he swallowed painfully. What else could he say? He hated that Sam used his abilities to save him. Just like he hated the way his father had gone to Hell for him. And now, he found out Alastair had tortured him as well. He looked away, not wanting Sam to see the despair that threatened to drown him.

"Dean, I ah…well Cas wasn't doing too well when I arrived and we couldn't let Alastair get away. I wanted you to hear it from me this time." Sam looked down at his hands; his shoulders were rigid as if he was preparing to be hurt.

"I know Sam…" Dean said. He hated to see the pain and fear in his brother's eyes. Since the episode with the Siren, he'd had time to think and Sam hadn't been wrong. He wasn't the same person, the same brother that had gone to Hell. The problem was, he didn't think that person would ever come back. A part of who he was had remained behind in the darkness. Sam deserved better.

"You don't know it all Dean; I mean you know I've been practicing right?" Dean nodded, he'd guessed as much. At least Sam had stopped treating him like he was stupid by trying to hide it.

But it didn't make it any easier for him. He still didn't trust Ruby but he also knew pushing Sam would only result in his brother hiding it from him. It was why he didn't object when Sam talked about using her information. At least this way some of the lies would stop. He still felt it was dangerous for Sam to use his abilities, especially with Uriel on the prowl; but he also recognized he couldn't stop him right now.

"I can kill them now…" Sam's voice was soft and pleading.

"What?" Dean looked over at his brother, his brow creased. This couldn't be good could it?

"I said--I can kill them now. I've learned how to kill the demons, not just send them back. I killed Alastair Dean and I don't regret it." Dean took in a quick breath and tried to calm himself. He watched the mulish expression return to his little brother's face. It was obvious he expected him to object.

"We have to do something to even have a chance Dean. I can take on Lilith now; I can stop her, stop the breaking of the seals." Sam's voice rose as he tried to convince Dean what he was doing was right.

"So, you don't need me anymore. That's good Sam, really…" Dean sighed. It wasn't good, he knew it but he no longer had the right to interfere. Who was he to blame Sam for trying to fix what he'd broken. The apocalypse was his fault. His weakness had condemned them all.

"Dean?" Sam's voice was filled with concern. "What did Alastair say to you?"

"Nothing, just the usual crap. Demon lies Sam; he was trying to get into my head. But it's all good, really. I think I'll just…" Dean jumped as the air shimmered and Cas appeared at the foot of his bed.

"You're awake."

"Wow you're Angel powers are working overtime there Cas." Dean replied.

"We need to talk Dean."

"What no how are you feeling, nice to see you survived…" Dean sighed, he was so damn tired. Why couldn't they all just leave him alone?

"He's still in the hospital, you can't possibly…" Sam stood and moved between Cas and Dean. A soft smile formed on the older hunter's face as he saw his brother form a protective barrier between him and the Angel.

"You're not taking him anywhere Cas, you and that friend of yours can just take a hike and find someone else to do your dirty work." Dean could see the tension in his brother. He had to diffuse the situation to prevent Sam from getting hurt.

"It's okay Sam. Why don't you take a break, get some coffee. You look like you haven't eaten or slept in days Dude. I'll be fine…" Dean tried to make himself appear stronger than he felt. He watched as Sam looked at him, the unspoken question in his eyes. _"Are you sure?"_ and his response"_I'm fine."_

"He better be here when I get back Cas…" Sam said in a low voice as he turned to go. Dean shuddered at the implied threat, but he understood it. He'd used that voice more than once on things that had threatened Sam.

Cas moved closer and sighed. His posture had changed, he seemed to look defeated, less than himself and yet there seemed to be a new resolve, a new strength as well. "So, what did you want to talk about Cas?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam walked to the small cafeteria and grabbed a cup of coffee. He looked briefly at the food but none of it appealed to him. His thoughts were on the shell of his brother upstairs. It was clear to Sam, his brother was giving up. His constant barbs about him leaving him behind, not needing his big brother anymore; it just showed how much Dean had been damaged while in Hell.

He sighed as he slowly began to walk back towards the room. He'd give them a few more minutes and then he'd insist his brother rest. It was his job now to look out for Dean until he could get it together. For a moment, he wondered if his big brother ever would but he refused to believe Dean would give up. He'd come too far to do that now. He just needed time and that is what he would give him. He'd taken charge, was finding them hunts and would keep pushing Dean until his brother realized he was still a good hunter and still his big brother. Nothing would ever change that, not even Heaven itself. Speaking of which, he better get back before Cas had time to convince Dean he was well enough to take on another job.

The young hunter paused outside the door; his ears picked up on the conversation between the human and Angel within.

"Uriel is dead"

"The demons?" Dean's voice asked.

"Disobedience—he was working against us."

Sam sucked in a breath at the pained sound of his brother's voice as he asked Cas if it was true that he'd broken the first seal. The implications overwhelmed him as he tried to understand how that could be true. He was the one who was doomed, not Dean—never Dean. But it seemed both brothers had been screwed by fate.

The young hunter could feel his brother's pain through the walls. His own breath was stolen from him as he listened to the conversation. Dean had broken the first seal and now he was blaming himself for the apocalypse. He could hear it in his brother's voice. But it wasn't his fault. He'd only gone to Hell because Sam had been too weak to do what had to be done. Twice, he had a chance to end this but in each case he had failed. If he'd done what his father had begged him to do, the yellow eyed demon would have been killed in the cabin. If he'd killed Jake, instead of turning his back to him, Dean would never have made the deal. If he'd practiced his abilities during the year before the hell hounds came, his brother would have been spared and the seals would have remained in tact. It was his fault, not Dean's.

"It's not the blame that falls on you Dean—it is fate…" He heard Cas trying to reason with his brother but then his anger grew as the Angel continued.

"You have to stop it."

"Lucifer—the apocalypse? What does that mean?" Dean's broken voice asked.

"I don't know…"

"Bull…"

"I don't know, they don't tell me much…" Cas sounded unsure.

Sam was sure it had to be a shock to the Angel to find out he'd been misled and betrayed by one of his own. He'd suspected as much when Alastair told him demons hadn't been killing the Angels. The fact it had been Uriel was a relief in a way. If he hadn't been receiving his orders from God, then maybe God didn't disapprove of him using his powers to fight evil. Maybe, what he was doing really wasn't as bad as everyone thought. He hoped so, because he was so tired of being the odd man out—the tainted one with no hope of redemption.

His anger increased as he realized what Cas was asking of his brother. How dare he tell Dean he was the one to stop it? How could Dean stop what was happening? He wasn't strong enough. The proof was right in front of Cas of what would happen if Dean went up against Lilith much less Lucifer. This had to stop now. Sam started to move, but stopped as he heard the defeated voice of his older brother.

"Then you're screwed…I can't do it Cas, it's too big." Dean paused before he continued. His voice laced with pain. "I'm not all here—not strong enough. I guess I'm not the man either of our fathers wanted me to be—find someone else—it's not me."

The air left Sam's lungs as he leaned against the wall. His proud brother was completely broken. How was he going to help him now? He'd given up. Sam listened to the soft sobs as his brother continued to break. He knew this was something Dean would never have told him. He had to get it together. He took a few more sips of coffee until his hands were steady. He schooled his features and entered the room. He wasn't surprised to find Cas gone.

"Dean?" Sam said softly, ignoring the hurried wipe of tears from his brother's face. He wouldn't mention it, he'd let Dean come to him this time. "Are you okay?"

There was a pause as Dean closed his eyes. For a moment, Sam thought he was going to go back to sleep until he heard a broken reply. "No Sam, I'm not…"

The End


End file.
